Humorous Stories
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Hypnotism
According to Audrey Hurley
A minister was in a bad area of the country, income was pitiful, the plumbing
rattled, the roof leaked, and the air conditioning didn't work. People simply
wouldn't come because of the heat. And being so poor the church didn't have the
money to pay to have repairs made.
He decided before he resigned that he would take a quick trip to gather his
courage for telling these folks goodbye.
He went to Las Vegas and had just enough money to attend a cheap magician show.
In the show the man was hypnotizing folks - making them act like chickens and
monkeys. He was impressed. He met with the magician and ask him if he could
teach him how to do this hypnotism thing. The man gave him a quick course and he
couldn't wait to get back to his church.
His first Sunday back, he told his audience that he wanted to tell them about
his trip. Took out a watch and chain, and, as he swung it back and forth, he
talked softly as they went into a hypnotic trance. He then stated: "I want
everybody to walk down the aisle and put $20.00 in the plate.
They did. He had the church's roof fixed that week.
This worked so well that the next Sunday he decided to do it again. Taking his
watch out he says I want to tell you some more things about my trip. This time
he proclaimed, "I want everybody to come down the aisle and drop a $100 in the
offering plate."
They did. He got the air conditioning fixed and the parking lot redone.
His third Sunday, he got to thinking.
I haven't been paid in a long time. I deserve a little money. Pulling his watch
out he starts the swinging again, and as he is softly speaking he starts
thinking. I deserve a lot more than a little bit of money... I deserve enough to
go overseas and have a cottage on the beach... I deserve a lot more.
He got so excited about what he was fixing to receive that his hands start
sweating and as the
watch slips from his grip, he yells: "Crap!"
Took him two weeks to clean up the church.
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